Tuesday, May 02, 2006

do not ask me why but i see it as a form of mindless activity and it is no different frm going gah gah over an idol.... both are a spiritual commitment, just that it's a different level....

i'm just harping on this fact, finding articles to support my stand... i just want to know that i'm nt alone... it's really as simple as that... i cannot stand it when people tell me that atheism is a religion... & i just have to dig out this line said by u a few centuries ago to remind myself that this is nt the first time i felt hurt....
maybe i'm just looking at the wrong direction.... somehow this just doesn't work out... to put it simply, i cannot... i repeat, i cannot understand, nor accept u...

maybe it was started a simple event of me attending an event that meant alot to u.... right, my focus was to support u... however, what was ur aim of bringing me there? to want my support? or is it something more than that? what did that action mean? so what if there was no skit? u know my stand towards god, why did u want me to see the fucking lyrics praising ur god? what did the actions before that mean? what are u trying to convince me? i don't wanna know... because i know ppl lie, i know ppl lie when they wanna salvage friendships.... to put it simply, i cannot trust u in the religious sense because i've never trusted any other christians who said that they truly wanted to help someone, because i know they don't say it.... but it's always in the name of religion, not because they just wanted to help....

she said u wanted to share... what did u want to share? haven u shared enough? i understand and respect the reasons as to why u converted to christainity. do u understand why i chose to become a free thinker? and recently declare that i'm a atheist? think... have u even asked? have u respected my decision to be who i am? U wanted to share, U wanted me to benefit from what U have benefitted. i understand perfectly, & i'm grateful, trust me i am very very grateful to u for wanting to share the special moments that u had with god. but this is where u and other christians are no different, they had wanted to share too, they try so hard to share, going around with their bibles & how the world will come to an end. how are u different from them? i'm sure they shared their special moments with god too. i do not condemn them, nor have i condemned u for ur beliefs.

what i hate, and hate to the core, is people who cannot respect why people chose to be anti christians. they think it's because of the passionate evangelising of other christians that pushes those potential "god lovers" away frm the religion... u have this stupid belief that people who don't belief in him will burn in hell. u have this stupid belief that people are born sinners & that stupid jesus saved us frm the burning depths of hell... spare me this shit. unless i burn in hell for nt being a christian & come back again to reality, i'll tell those non believers that non christianity gives u the privilege of burning in hell.

u do not understand that i cannot accept ur religion because of this simple belief that i do not accept ur bible & ur beliefs. u hold on to this belief that one day i will trod on the same path as u & try by all means and ways to tell me that atheism is a religion, fuck u....

if the last thing u want is to have ur friend try to convince u that god doesn't exist, stop doing what u think is beneficial or right for others. u do not know my life, u do not know the people i've known, u cannot understand me, u do not decide my course of action or my form of belief for me.

i'm srry i cannot understand ur life and relationship with god because i think that only schizophrenics have relationships with people that don't exist. i tried to reach out to u. i tried to read ur bible. i tried to understand ur life. u failed to understand mine.

i am a anti - christian, i am anti - christianity. get this clear. i will nt repeat again because it makes no one happier...


this is where all this ends.... i know u no more...