Friday, April 29, 2005
been asking myself lots of questions about life, why this not that, why her not me? i realised something, life has lots of questions, but u don't always have to know the answers, do u? then why do schools want us to think? to question? if questioning brings no answers, why question? i can't leave a question hanging in mid air, i hate people who don't give me answers when i ask a question. but doesn't that happen to myself as well? don't i ask myself questions and leave them at the back of my thoughts somewhere, hoping that eventually i would find enlightment somewhere someday... i guess till this day i'm still hoping, still dreaming...
things happened today & yesterday..
it's still bothering me though...
things to change...
1. stop saying fuck.. even in blog
2. stop getting worried that u can't communicate with that senior, i think he's diriving u nuts
i think that's abt all.. the way to be happy, is be simple.. just be u and nt be bothered with anyone else... that's the way... i feel more relaxed now adays..
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
haha.. copied that from my senior.. crazy stuff
btw, some changes i need to make with my life before i move on.
1. nvr switch on my hp in the morning unless in special circumstances
2. spend all breaks in the LEP room or in some dark corners of the library, unless i have to eat lunch or smthing
3. forget all rubbish that has been bothering me since that start of school and focus on sch work
i think that's about all. my senior seems to be angry... oh whatever.. went home and slept like a log... i guess i was drained out yesterday... still.. lots of hmwrk nt done, dun feel like doing, dun feel like going to sch in fact.
weilian said she and kah hui will be praying for her... it that helps, then all the best. i guess it's best to have a religion somtimes, at least u have something to distract ur mind from. better do hmwrk.. oh well.. see ya...
Self-mutilation is a general term for a variety of forms of intentional self-harm without the wish to die. Cutting one's skin with razors or knives is the most common pattern of self-mutilation. Others include biting, hitting, or bruising oneself; picking or pulling at skin or hair; burning oneself with lighted cigarettes, or amputating parts of the body.
The relationship of self-mutilation to suicide is still debated even though statistics show that nearly 50% of individuals who injure themselves also attempt suicide at some point in their lives. Many researchers think that suicide attempts reflect feelings of rejection or hopelessness, while self-mutilation results from feelings of shame or a
need to relieve tension.
Causes and symptoms
self-mutilation is an outlet for strong negative emotions, especially anger or shame, that the person is afraid to express in words or discuss with others.
self-mutilation represents anger at someone else directed against the self.
self-mutilation relieves unbearable tension or anxiety Many self-mutilators do report feeling relief after an episode of self-cutting or other injury.
self-mutilation is a technique for triggering the body's biochemical responses to pain. Stress and trauma release endorphins, which are the body's natural pain-killing substances
self-mutilation is a way of stopping a dissociative episode. Dissociation is a process in which the mind splits off, or dissociates, certain memories and thoughts that are too painful to keep in conscious awareness. Some people report that they feel "numb" or "dead" when they dissociate, and self-injury allows them to feel "alive."
Saturday, April 23, 2005