i feel so much better. *smiles*
i realised alot of things have been bothering me but i was
1. too tired to care
2. too pusillanimous (haha! I LEARNT A NEW WORD! it means cowardly) to face it
3. taking alot of things for granted... i've been standing at the top of the world for too long.

things bothering me
1. one thing constantly on my mind are the little things that happen in my family that makes me feel very frustrated... i realised that since that what i can't change, i shall not forcibly enforce it on others, especially on my parents.. they have their own way of thinking and own expectations, i have nt yet reached their level to understand... as for my sis, in order to change others, i should change myself... so yup... this is resolved, i shall work on it.

2. radhiah... haha... ok... i guess she's very devastated by what happened to her dad, what she wrote in her blog must have been written out of anger... after talkin to her yesterday, i guess she should be feeling better. must take note of her nick more and respond readily when she wants to talk to me online... she needs alot of support now... shall nt dish out advice readily cus it might nt be the best idea but shall encourage her to talk more to her mum... i just hope everything will turn out well for her...

3. lep committee.... weirdness but the fact that i'm nt the chairman does nt bother me as much anymore... just that what happened in lep camp make me doubt whether she is really the best leader around... wished that i was in the precious batch cus they seemed so nice and united but who knows this batch of committee members might be better :) shall focus on my job and do my best.. will ask teacher for help, lin lao shi rocks but must nt over step line... adults are afterall adults

4. am consantly stressed for no reason cus i'm nt doing anything abt my coming exams... shall juz work hard and focus... U CAN DO IT...

5. worried abt my best friend cus of what my mum told me abt her... but as long as i show enuff care and concern and do nt take her for granted, i guess i will have already done my part as a friend. keep in touch with sec sch friends constantly... just feel bad that i have nt talked to angie for a long time..

things i shall change abt myself
1. slp early
2. try nt to surf disturbing websites, they're affecting me already, curiousity kills the cat.. lolx
3. focus on studies.... entertainment comes later...
4. be aware of image.... nt everyone likes u being crazy and direct... be careful of what u say and act
5. be urself

ciao! ~ with love

i am..

i am who i am... therefore i cannot hate myself... hahahaaaaaaaa...
i need someone to counsel me... i seem to be losing control... i'm having abnormal behaviour, i get very agitated easily, when i quarrel with my mum i'll feel like i'm losing control of my emotions and will get into a mad rage.... depression?
guess must be cus i'm sleeping late.... but i'm nt revising enough... have yet to study
haha... i'm going insane...
hahahahahahah.................

i guess i have to constantly remind myself that there is someone who cares? it sounds stupid... hahaha.... so lame....
relaxs...
i just need to get a grip of myself...
if that is the only problem....
i'm started to... haha..
omg... now everything is so crazy.....

guy crazy

i think i'm going guy crazy.... nt gd....
focus focus focus on studyin...
haha... i guess it's more of a admiration den crush...
it's kinda of stupid rite... when u try everything u can to get his attention but u also try by all means to cover up ur feelings and ur actions and to make sure this crush remains anonomous
i think this is juz part of my life... like any other girls... bleahx... childish
it doens't bother me as much now... this stupid crushes if i think it as normal.... haha... guess it's the feeling of being abnormal that bothers me alot...
anyway, my gor is MARIS! haha..lame... new gor..
coincidentally the person who pissed me off was from maris also... sucks... i can't say maris ppl sucks cus my gor doesn't... haha.. he's actions is damn cute... lame guy... high I :P